A card for you, my love
By Saher Baloch
Valentine's Day is here again and taking complete advantage of the situation, shopkeepers have jumped in with a sale or two to attract customers. Cards and flowers always top the chart for gifts on Valentine's Day, thus bringing in lots of money for traders. One look at the cards lined up at a local shop makes you see red, quite literally. With colour combinations, such as red matched with golden, silver and pink, one feels like wearing sunglasses to take a good look at the cards and to not let the dazzle affect one's eyesight.

Love's labour lost?
Even after being born and brought up in a wealthy family, Abeer Rehman, a student of MBA at a private university, did not get enough pocket money to support himself and most importantly his demanding girlfriend. On many occasions she made it quite clear to him, in no uncertain terms, what her girlfriends received from their doting boyfriends. "I had to compete with people I haven't even met, Yaar," Rehman said with a sheepish smile.

To my beloved city
My dearest Karachi,
You are as smoggy as when I first saw you four years ago... perhaps even smoggier.
Over the past four years, our relationship has had its highs and lows, but through this time, I have loved you more and more each passing day.

The festival of non-believers?
By Rabia Ali
Standing near the entrance of the crowded lobby of the city's largest university, a young chap with a wide paan-stained grin, dressed in a bloodred t-shirt and skin-fitted jeans, stares at the women passing by. He is looking for prospective dates for Valentine's Day. Blood rushes to his face in excitement when he thinks of the day when he will finally have someone to call his own (even if only for a few hours), and if lucky enough will be able to hold hands wit his "beloved", and exchange roses, gifts and cards.

Ghost of Gen. Zia haunts Valentine's Day
By Shahid Husain
"The deepest need of man, then, is the need to overcome his separateness, to leave the prison of his aloneness," writes great American psychoanalyst and social philosopher Erich Fromm in his remarkable book, "The Art of Loving." Elaborating, he says: "The absolute failure to achieve this aim means insanity, because the panic of complete isolation can be overcome only by such a radical withdrawal from the world outside that the feeling of separation disappears-because the world outside, from which one is separated, has disappeared."

Valentine's Day is usually a "day for couples" to express their love for each other. In Karachi, however, apart from lovers, people who have nothing better to do also wait for this day. Fahad Mir is among those who go out on Valentine's Day to spoil dates for random couples.

Mir believes that the fun that of spoiling dates is "unparalleled" -- greater even than the happiness derived from dating someone. One has to be careful, however, while spoiling dates, because one never knows what might happen, he said. " The best dates to be spoiled are the ones on wooden benches in roadside parks," Mir explained. "First we identify a couple and make sure that they are dating; then we start playing nearby with a cricket ball. Then one of us throws the ball towards the bench and goes to pick it up. While picking up the ball, the individual stares at the couple for a bit long, and then comes back. In the meantime, the couple has already left the bench."

"Couples and dating spots vary, but the best dates are seen on Sea View; there, you will find people from all over Karachi on every special day. Sea View on the eve of Valentine's Day is filled with people. You find couples walking along the sea shore, sitting together by the aea, sitting on motorbikes, and in suspicious cars parked on the roadside. The best date to be spoiled is the one in the car," Yasir Ahmed, a student, told Kolachi.

He explained that their intent is never to harass couples; the spoilers just "can't help it". "My favourites are the ones in airconditioned cars. Those couples are disconnected from the whole world and the mist due to the sea breeze covers all the windows." Ahmed said. "All one has to do is knock on the window a couple of times so that the individual is forced to open it. Then you just have to ask some random question such as which road leads to Sea View. In this one, however, if you stumble upon the son of some bigshot, you have to hear a lot of abusive language and then he drives away. Alternatively, they just give you the directions politely and then drive away."

Ahmed was of the opinion that in extreme cases on Sea View if one has more than one bike, then accelerating the bike around the airconditioned cars could also spoil dates, "but this is rare."

Youngsters in general believe that it takes a lot more guts to spoil a date then to go on one. Some dates can be spoiled more easily than others, but one always needs to be in a group. "It could be any random place -- a food court at a shopping mall, a fast food outlet. All you need to identify red clothes and young couples," Mir said. He added that spoiling such dates is extremely easy. "A group of four to five boys needs to sit at a point where they can see the couple and the couple can see them. Then you start staring at them and if you can twist your moustache, that adds to the fun. As a result of this, first the boy changes places and tries to glare at us. After realizing that we are more in number and don't have a woman with us, however, he leaves the place -- sometimes without even paying the bill," Mir said.

Spoiling dates is a novel way that single boys in Karachi have devised as a means to spend Valentine's Day. It can thus be said that Valentine's Day is celebrated with zeal and enthusiasm in Karachi and you don't really have to be in love to be part of it.

A card for you, my love

Valentine's Day is here again and taking complete advantage of the situation, shopkeepers have jumped in with a sale or two to attract customers. Cards and flowers always top the chart for gifts on Valentine's Day, thus bringing in lots of money for traders. One look at the cards lined up at a local shop makes you see red, quite literally. With colour combinations, such as red matched with golden, silver and pink, one feels like wearing sunglasses to take a good look at the cards and to not let the dazzle affect one's eyesight.

Shopkeeper Shahid Saleh Mohammed looks pleased with himself as he explains that on most occasions, such as birthdays and wedding anniversaries, people come to his shop to buy cards; most of his customers belong to the upper class. As February comes along, however, Mohammed says, people from every area come to his shop especially to buy cards.

Breaking into peals of laughter, Mohammed spoke of an incident where he had to deal with a waiter at a nearby local tea shop. "Once a Chai Wallah walked in to buy a card and to top it all he wanted the most expensive one, costing around Rs250. I took pity on him and thought he may not have money to buy the card so I started showing him the other, less expensive ones. He must have been around 24 years old and understood what I was doing. He glared at me, and said, 'I want to show the girl that I can afford her, and you want to spoil that for me!'" The conversation ended with the Chai Wallah walking out of the shop with a big red card, leaving behind a stunned shopkeeper.

With every gesture and expression of love being conveyed electronically via SMS, e-cards and most recently, through Facebook, one feels that maybe the tradition of giving cards to loved ones has diminished. After all, love has also become a matter of investing in the right place and through the right medium. But Sabir, a stall owner near Shaheed-e-Millat Road, says that when it comes to Valentine's Day, people still buy cards. "I earn around Rs2,000 in a day during that time. Itna Toh Kabhi Maheeney MeinN Bhi Nahi Kamata MeiN! (I don't earn that much even in a month)," he said.

Mohammed says that the increasing use of internet has in some ways affected their business, "but not too much". "We still have customers who want to buy cards, especially on Valentine's Day," he said. A big card, priced at Rs250 in Mohammed's shop, is sold for Rs80 in Urdu Bazaar, but the point is that people buy them irrespective of the price.

The amount of love and gratitude for loved ones somehow grows tenfold around this time, leading to young boys even borrowing money from shopkeepers. Mazhar, who owns a jewellery shop in Gulf Centre, said that the price of jewellery at his shop starts from Rs2,000 and goes to Rs50,000. "Even then, we have customers who buy jewellery -- mostly heart-shaped pendants or rings. Those who can not afford it, leave politely, looking at us with 'accusing' eyes," he said with a smile.

Once a young boy walked into Mazhar's shop with a girlfriend in tow, and asked her to buy anything she wanted. She picked up the most expensive bracelet in the shop, and the boy showed no surprise at her choice. This generous offer was, by the way, already discussed and talked over by keeping the shopkeeper in confidence, "while the girl knew nothing about it," Mazhar said with a grin.

Meanwhile, the greeting card industry estimates that more than one billion cards are exchanged every year, while many people feel that it is the thought that counts and not the price tag attached to a card. "It all boils down to love in the end," said an old woman looking at the commotion near the card stalls. "No matter where you are from, the feeling of love knows no price tags and is best expressed simply. Enjoy the foolishness," she added with a smile.

My dearest Karachi,

You are as smoggy as when I first saw you four years ago... perhaps even smoggier.

Over the past four years, our relationship has had its highs and lows, but through this time, I have loved you more and more each passing day.

I am not like others; I hope you trust in this darling, for I have loved you despite everything. I still remember our first Valentine's Day... you looked so simple, and incredibly elegant. It was as if my life had become colourful all of a sudden and that both of us were made for each other. The day I saw you, you had this allure in your eyes that I still remember...the deep blue sea...the sleeping days and working nights...the continuous symphony of heavy metal truck engine notes, the accompanying chorus of auto rickshaw silencers and crows, and of course, backing vocals by bus conductors...

All this made you so original and different from all other girls in my life that I decided then and there that you were my destiny, my fate. I followed you everywhere after that, from the Quaid's mausoleum to Prem Gali at KU, I explored every nook and corner, just to see how romantic you are. Trust me, I under-estimated you.

My love, every one changes over time. I have changed and so have you, but these bridges and flyovers have ruined you. You may think that I love you less now because your figure keeps changing now and then... the truth is, I say it because I care. I know that all changes that you have undergone seems to have made your life easier and that people bother you less now, but your persisting anger is what had put me at a distance.

I wish you would talk to me, darling, rather than being insecure...

This Valentine's Day, I don't want to leave a break-up note for you, not a chance. In fact, whenever I have tried to break up, I am the one apologising, and like always, am reminded that you can take me out of Karachi, but you can never take Karachi out of me. You are my love, and you reside in my heart...

My love, I know that you are very aggressive by nature, but I never thought that you'll get so angry at the turn of the year, and continue to be irate for some time. We had promised each other that we won't do anything to hurts each other, but you broke that resolve before the new year even set in.

I love you, dearest, but you never kept your promise. I know that I didn't, or couldn't, give you a present on New Year eve -- that too because I was away, but you lost your temper at others... what had the people of Lyari done?... what had all those who died in target killings done?... they were all poor people.

I know that new years have not always been very kind to you, incumbent rulers of different times leave no stone unturned to harass you, to bleed you... this time, it was just a little too much. I am angry because you were helpless in controlling your inner contradictions, and others seemed to take advantage of you... Theatre and events such as Kara kept the charm in you alive last year, but this year, you are muted on that front. Culture, concerts, and theatre were trademarks of your personality, but all that seems to be withering away...

Because of all that anger and sorrow, you seemed to have lost your smile -- perhaps, the most happening thing about you. It is not that my love for you has lessened with time, my beautiful, it is that I am worried about you...

The perpetual frown that you have developed at such an early age has only one treatment: peace of mind. This is something you never get. I may not sound like a boy friend, but my love, someone who is closest to you needs to tell you the harsh truths without being judgemental. Sweetheart, you are getting wrinkles on your face and the colour of your skin is fading at such an early age...

Darling, I wanted to buy chocolates for you this Valentine's Day, and I even bought a bunch of them... but all of them melted on my way from NIPA Chowrangi to Sea View in Data Coach, despie this being February... this used to be cool time, but now, you never seem to cool down... my dearest, you are suffering from high fever, and no medicines are working... the only cure, doctors say, is to be positive.

Please don't do this to me, we are both young, and we need to sort this out.

You have to remember though that we can't go to the hospital because the JPMC emergency ward has vanished, and all other hospitals are either too expensive, occupied or the staff is not coming to work because of your insecurities.

My love, despite the rampant social despair, I still love you from the bottom of my heart. I love you for Nihari...which gives me the right amount of spices and calories, I love you for all decorated buses...which give such a unique fashion statement that no label or designer can match it, I love you for all the cell phone snatchings... they provided me with a unique experience of life, and even gave me a lot of stuff to talk about with friends.

This Valentine's, I want to tell you, for yet another time, that I want to marry you... I promise you, once we get married, I'll put a ban on altering your contours... we'll also protect our first dating spot, it will remain as it was and it won't become part of any construction or destruction... People have divided you in terms of food items, such as Burger and Bun-Kabab, but I am so lost in your love that I am still confused about which class or stratum of society I belong to... For me, it is all about Karachi.

Darling, all that I have is you... you must talk to me, you must believe that I am truly yours...

Yours always,

Rafay Mahmood

The festival of non-believers?

Standing near the entrance of the crowded lobby of the city's largest university, a young chap with a wide paan-stained grin, dressed in a bloodred t-shirt and skin-fitted jeans, stares at the women passing by. He is looking for prospective dates for Valentine's Day. Blood rushes to his face in excitement when he thinks of the day when he will finally have someone to call his own (even if only for a few hours), and if lucky enough will be able to hold hands wit his "beloved", and exchange roses, gifts and cards.

Absorbed in this imaginary heart-fluttering world, his stare suddenly collides with the one from the bearded men who are distributing pamphlets, labeling the lovers' day as a festival of Kaafirs. Their threatening stare and the little voice in his heart advices him to dash away before they make a move, and thus with his head lowered in defeat, he makes an escape without achieving his goals.

However, not all lovers are lucky enough to escape getting beaten up on Valentine's Day. Madiha Zikar, a graduate of the Mass Communication department of the University of Karachi (KU), recalls how in 2005, one of her friends, Sohail, was beaten up by Islami Jamiat-e-Tulaba (IJT) activists, for carrying a rose with him on February 14. "We were all excited and were cheering him up, while he prepared to propose to his crush. Suddenly, IJT activists stopped him, and slapped him thrice, squashing the poor rose under their feet," she said. Sohail, however, refused to talk to Kolachi, and said that he did not want to share that dreadful incident.

Another KU student, who is also a member of the students' wing of another political party, said, "There have been several instances where students have been beaten up on Valentine's Day. On this particular day, guys from other universities enter the KU premises to meet their girlfriends, and when they are caught without the university's identity card, they are beaten up. The same happens when a couple is found sitting together or caught giving cards or flowers. The guy is beaten up in each case." According to this activist, the IJT student body is extremely active in reacting to Valentine's Day.

Discussions about celebrating or not celebrating Valentine's Day have certainly increased over the last several years; on one hand, student lovers make plans for candlelight dinners; others utilise their energies in distributing pamphlets and sending emails, telling people not to celebrate Valentine's Day.

At private universities, however, one sees greater leniency in celebrating the day; regardless, celebrations focusing solely on Valentine's Day are not held.

Mehdi Abidi, a student of BBA at Iqra University, told Kolachi how the students at his university celebrate the day. "Since our university's anniversary is also on February 14, a carnival is organised every year, in which couples dedicate songs to each other, and give flowers to one another," he said. However, due to the unsaid verdict regarding the celebration of the lovers' day, the event is not marked as Valentines Day.

The same scenario is witnessed at Shaheed Zulfikar Ali Bhutto Institute of Science and Technology (SZABIST) where the day is celebrated as friendship day or red day, and the university is decorated with red and white balloons. Stalls selling chocolates and flowers are set up, says Hiba Ali Raza, a member of the SZABIST student body.

A student from the Institute of Business Management (IoBM) said that a "Jashn-e-Baharan" carnival is organised every year in the month of February. Girls dress up in red clothes, and flowers and gifts are exchanged.

Yamna Bari of Institute of Business Administration (IBA) says that the students would never get permission from the administration for solely celebrating a Valentine's Day event. However, a charity bake sale was held two years ago, with a tint of Valentines Day celebrations.

At elite schools, however, there is complete freedom regarding the celebrations. Alishay Adnan of The Lyceum School said, "Since this time February 14 is falling on a Sunday, there are no such celebrations. But there is no opposition or no hard and fast rule regarding the event in high schools."

"The deepest need of man, then, is the need to overcome his separateness, to leave the prison of his aloneness," writes great American psychoanalyst and social philosopher Erich Fromm in his remarkable book, "The Art of Loving." Elaborating, he says: "The absolute failure to achieve this aim means insanity, because the panic of complete isolation can be overcome only by such a radical withdrawal from the world outside that the feeling of separation disappears-because the world outside, from which one is separated, has disappeared."

He also argues that "love is giving" because one grows when one gives. It seems, however, that for the past several decades, concerted efforts have been made in Pakistan to refrain people, especially the youth, from "loving", thereby accentuating their "separateness" and pushing them into the abyss of an insane society.

I remember that in 1970, the proctor at the University of Karachi, Major (retd) Aftab Hasan, issued a funny circular saying that girls and boys should be three feet apart when they are sitting together. Obviously, he was perturbed when he saw students sitting in the Arts Lobby and elsewhere and discussing politics, problems related to their curricula or simply making a choice as to who should be their partner in life.

The circular issued by Major (retd) Hasan was ridiculed by progressive and enlightened students, while the orthodox lot got a sadistic pleasure in that edict. They were, however, not able to get it implemented.

I don't remember if anybody in those days observed Valentine's Day, but students did fall in love; they expressed their feelings through various ways and left the campus merrily. There were love affairs and nobody thought that the mingling of girls and boys was "immoral".

I also remember an incident that amused me. I was entrusted by my seniors in the National Students Federation (NSF) to help female students in getting their admission forms that were available at the administration block. This was not unusual. Students from the rightwing Islami Jamiat-e-Tulaba (IJT) were also doing the same thing in order to make new friends who would be voters in the next union elections. This was the usual practice year after year.

Suddenly, Major (retd) Hasan appeared from somewhere and admonished me for "standing near the female students' queue". He was furious when I replied that IJT students were also there, and ordered me to follow him. There was jubilation in the ranks of IJT because they were sure that I would be punished. When I entered the lift along with Major (retd) Hasan because he was going upstairs he asked me: "Why are you staring at me?" I replied: "Sir, I am not staring at you; you are staring at me." The lift stopped on third or fourth floor and he very kindly asked me to go away. He pardoned me!

Things have changed since then. Some forty years ago even the person who had issued a strict order against mingling of girls and boys had the decency to pardon youngsters. Today, one finds hordes of people in Pakistani society who react violently if they come across young couples sitting together. Previously, students would sit in groups, chat for hours, sing, exchange notes, recite poetry, make jokes; and nobody bothered. In the process, some of them also chose their life partners. Love was not forbidden.

There were hardly a few girls at the campus at that time who wore Hijab. Those who did not wear the Hijab never felt uneasy or threatened. Today, the majority wears Hijab or 'Burqa', indicating that the liberal atmosphere at the campus has undergone a metamorphosis. That of course, does not mean that young men and women have stopped loving. They do mingle, but with a sense of uneasiness as if Big Brother is watching. The ghost of military dictator Gen. Ziaul Haq haunts them everywhere, whether it is the beach on Valentine's Day or the college campus.