Bombing away!
Women education is the most recent victim of the local Taliban in different parts of the tribal areas. Recently, certain intimidating attacks of bombing at girls' schools have started. You! takes a look at this disastrous situation...

By Raza Khan

The process of Talibanisation in the North Western parts of the country, especially in the tribal areas, goes on unabated. Seemingly, a lot of debate is going on but all of it seems interminable. On the whole, every aspect of our social lives and almost all the sectors of the society are getting affected by the repercussions of this process. However, it has become a noted fact that women are the most affected; and are always left behind to survive in the most distressful and appalling of situations.        

For the past many years the government has been claiming to have unfolded the grand development strategy to develop the tribal areas by investing billions of rupees into the efforts. One strand of this strategy has been to establish educational institutions, including universities, in the Federally Administered Tribal Areas (FATA). Obviously, there have been plans for establishing girls' education institutions, especially in somewhat developed and integrated tribal areas. Darra is one such area, situated on the road leading towards Peshawar and Kohat and almost equidistant from both the towns.

The most recent victim of local Taliban in the country is women education in different parts of the tribal areas. Intimidating attacks of bombing at the girls' schools in the area of Federally Administered Tribal Areas, Darra Adam Khel started in November 2006. Certain militant groups are known for their common agenda in the tribal areas, that is the establishment of dictatorship of the clergy.

The first unfortunate incident took place in Akharwal Girls High School. Three rooms of the school premises were almost destroyed. The second incident was when a surrounding wall of an under construction Girls Degree College in Sheraki area of Darra was damaged. Fortunately, there were no students in the Akharwal School at the time of bombing. It seems that the attackers, deliberately made the attack when no one was present in the building at that particular time. The attacks were accompanied by written threats to the teachers, parents and even drivers who provide transport to girls.

The local Taliban have made it a point to prove that they are entirely against women education. In fact, the main objective behind this unethical act is to put across their message that any steps taken regarding the education of women in any of the tribal areas within the country will not be tolerated. This shows what kind of cruel mindset they have.

According to the information gathered from the area, the local Taliban have demanded that girls should be allowed to attend school till the primary level as they think that secondary education for girls is 'not needed'. Most of the people in the area, despite being backward and illiterate don't agree to it. However, there are many who second the thoughts of the radicals and consider girls' education extraneous to the need of the society.

Social change is unavoidable rather it is a sine qua non for the sustainability of any social setting. So, to a certain extent, it is almost impossible to resist and go up against these changes by such outlandish acts. Moreover, the fact can't be disregarded that the area is quite well integrated with settled and developed areas of Kohat and Peshawar.

It is alarming to see that the local administration, despite having sweeping powers under the Frontier Crimes Regulation (FCR) has not taken any concrete steps to nab the members of the local Taliban. The FCR has full authority to deal sternly with those causing public commotion. Darra Adam Khel falls in the Frontier Region (FR) and Kohat is administered by the District Coordinating Officer (DCO) Kohat.

The inaction of the Darra administration seems nonsensical because in the close society of the tribal areas it is next to impossible for anyone to escape without remaining unrecognised. When inquired, many of the locals residing in those areas admitted to this fact. Therefore, the identity of the perpetrators that attacked the women educational institution is actually known by almost everyone. But for apparent reasons they have kept silent. The reason could be personal or family security. Perhaps due to the same apprehensions, the MNA from Darra, who happens to be a doctor by profession, has not come out in the open to condemn the attack, which is quite shameful.

What could be on the mind of the militants by doing so is not very difficult to infer. They are trying to sell their idea to the local population by telling them that educating girls is tantamount to endangering the area. However, this is absolutely unfounded as a lot of girls from Darra Adam Khel have been studying in high-standard colleges and university of Peshawar and returning to their area without harming any highly respectable local traditions. It may be mentioned here that not one case of adultery has occurred in Darra Adam Khel and thinking about raping someone, is completely out of the question in such a society as everyone is well aware of the consequences.

In fact, the local Taliban having a clerical mindset, fear that educated girls would enhance the status of the women in the area, which is not acceptable to them. The militants' radical way of thinking is obvious from the fact that there are no co-education institutions that may be a cause of concern for them or for the local population. By attacking these educational institutions they have sent a very loud and clear message that they are against girls' education altogether, thus, thinking beyond any human or moral feelings or considerations.

Apparently, their act evidently shows that they are a fundamentally anti-development element that needs to be tackled with an iron hand for the development of our society. Otherwise, it may not be long when the retrogressive forces will start attacking the girls' educational institutions in the settled parts of the NWFP. By bombing the under-construction girls' college in Darra, the local Taliban or radicals have openly challenged the government's bid to have some educational institutes of higher learning for girls.

Last but not least, the MMA government of NWFP, responsible for law and order situation in Darra since the DCO Kohat comes under its administrative control, seems totally indifferent. Perhaps, the MMA also unconsciously shares the agenda of the local Taliban.

(The writer is a Peshawar based journalist/political research analyst who has worked on several senior government positions: razapkhan@yahoo.com)

Another first...

By Fasihullah Siddiqui

Women in 'khaki' form part of the Guard of Honour at the Quaid's Mausoleum for the first time in Pakistan's history...

During the year 2006, a thrilling news made headlines in the local and international print media that there has been an induction of female fighter pilots and engineers in the history of Pakistan Air Force (P.A.F). Then there was news that the first ever female cadet won the Sword of Honour and also the Women Protection Act that was passed recently.

It was for the first time in the history of Pakistan that 41 females joined the Pakistan Military Academy (P.M.A) Kakul, to get a rigorous, six-month 'basic military training' along with men. After their training and hard work these women were inducted as officers in various branches of the Army.

And then on December, 25 eight lady cadets from P.M.A, made the whole country proud, and became the first ever under-training women soldiers to present the 'Guard of Honour' at the Quaid's mausoleum.

Lady cadets, Faryal, Huma, Sarwat, Shumaila, Wajiha, Erum, Bushra and Aneela clad in their khakis, plume on their heads, some wielding swords and others holding rifles, marched smartly to the marshal tunes with their male colleagues in a ceremony at the Quaid's mausoleum. These ladies are set to graduate in April this year.

Though, troops from Pakistan's Army, Navy and Air Force take turns to present the 'Guard of Honour' at the mausoleum, but every year the Army cadets perform the ritual on December 25. Thousands of people who had gathered at the mazar witnessed this nothing less than a historical moment.

The lady cadets expressed their feelings and said that they were very proud to join the Pakistan Army and particularly being a part of this ceremony was an honour. Commenting on the esteem bestowed upon them, the lady cadets expressed their gratitude.                                           

President General Pervez Musharraf also visited the mausoleum, laid a floral wreath and offered Fateha. He said that it was the first time that female cadets and a Sikh cadet were forming part of the Guard of Honour. The President in his speech praised the lady cadets and encouraged them to keep up the lofty traditions of the premier military institution. He also advised them to put their hearts and souls in their training activities.

"That is what we expect from all of you in the future. You must learn and you must acquire mental, physical and moral fitness so that you are able to perform your duties after you pass out and become officers of the Pakistan Army. I am impressed by all of you and have very high hopes from all young people, because you hold the future of the country in your hands."

He said it was the effort of the Government to provide equal rights to all. He said every Pakistani was being provided equal rights in line with the principles of Quaid-i-Azam and for the first time, this contingent of Pakistan Military Academy has female cadets. "We would be proud to get more women like you in the future and we hope that you will pursue your objectives with absolute zeal and commitment."

Prime Minister Shaukat Aziz also visited the Mazar of Quaid, laid a floral wreath and offered Fateha. While talking to the lady cadets, he had nothing more than praise for them and said that it was a proud moment for Pakistan.

Our strong willed girls have proven to all and sundry that in all aspects of defence, women are as much committed and full of zest as their male counterparts.

Here's wishing these girls and more like them, all the best. Waiting for them are new skies to conquer.

The colours of life
This season make up is more glamorous and flawless and the complexion to aim toward is peaches and cream skin. Blush is back in fashion shades and also on the cheeks...

  By Farisa Jerar Naqvi

No matter what the trends are for this season, it's important to choose apparel that makes you feel good and confident. The perfect outfit can make you sparkle with the confidence and charisma that comes with knowing you look great. Keeping that in mind designer Moazzam Abbasi exhibited his formal wear collection, in a fashion show held at Expo Centre, Karachi, recently.

The collection was based on the theme of life in black and white but the infusion of different colours was also seen, which was depicting that life is colourful too. One could see a lot of versatility in the collection. The show started  off with Vinny wearing a white sharara, embellished with beads. The rest of the models, following Vinny, flaunted their white dresses designed on western line with confidence. The theme colour for the second part of the collection was black. The collection was an eclectic mix of the east and west - shararas with halter necks and tube tops, embellished with diamonds and sequences, presented a chic look. The shalwar kameez collection was also given a modern twist by embodying ghairdar shalwars with spaghetti strap shirts.

The third and last part of the collection comprised colourful ensembles where the designer showed off his bright coloured ghararas and shararas with short shirts heavily embellished with diamond cut stones and sequences in shimmery silver.

The show was choreographed by Moazzam himself as he feels that being a designer it is easier for him to get the desired result. The music played for the show was selected from the early Eighties and late Seventies and it was fun to see models walking down the ramp on the ever popular beats of Donna Summers, Abba, Beegees, and Bony-M, and the set was exquisitely designed by Aslam.

Hair and makeup by Saima of Saima's salon gelled very well and complemented the over all look  and theme of the fashion show. Talking about latest trends in makeup Saima says, "This season  the make up is much more glamorous and flawless. The complexion to aim toward is peaches and cream skin. Blush is back in fashion shades in fabrics and it's also back on the cheeks. Go for hip and trendy colours for eyes. Hues of light lavenders and violet are just the perfect eye-shades. This season eyes will shimmer just as much as the fabrics. Eyelash extensions are the latest beauty buzz and a must have accessory." Saima, who is widely known for her bold styles further says, "Basically, people want something that is easy to manage and want variety - a cut that can be easily transformed from one style to another for different events or just for that different look. Women also want a style with easy, light makeup."

In the end the audiences were also enthralled by the classical dance by Amjad Ansari. All in all it was a good show where the audiences got to see the latest trends in make-up and style.

 
Style guide

Hairstyle and beauty has become quite a fashion statement lately.  Certain fashion trends emerge every season that become beloved classics. There are many different trends emerging for 2007. Fashions are becoming less girly and frilly, and more sharp and tailored. There are several different themes you're sure to see, including influences from the 1980s. Retro details are showing up in formal and casual wear as well. Go for a sequin-adorned dress for instant glamour and that elegant look you desire. Classic sheath dresses are always in style, especially when worn in jewel tones like rich ruby, emerald or sapphire. You can dress up a simple gown with a faux fur boa or wrap dyed to match. If you're conservative and don't want to experiment with a lot of bright colours, go for black or beige. You can also opt for shades like bright crimson or royal blue. For your casual days, slip on a cosy parka in a favourite shade such as clean winter white. If you don't care for white, try an eye-catching bright like fuchsia or even lime green for a cute vintage vibe. To add feminine flair to any outfit, try romantic jewellery, soft makeup and gently waved hair. Pale pink is a great way to incorporate this trend into your wardrobe.

  Wha t's latest Styled waves

Less curly more styled waves, the emphasis is on the depth of the curl and its definition. If you haven't got the length go for hair extensions. This season we are moving towards sharper looks, strong asymmetric cuts are going to be big, with one length cuts and heavy fringes making big fashion statements.

Dangling Jewellery

Dangling jewellery is one feminine detail that's fashionable for all seasons. Think long, chandelier earrings and necklaces that reach the navel. For a classic variation on this trend, try strands of pearls in varying lengths.

High-heels

Strappy stilettos are back in fashion and available in a wide variety of styles and colours to match any ensemble. Popular colours for winter footwear include wearable neutrals like black, dark brown and even navy blue.

Slough it off!
Lichen Planus, although an uncommon inflammatory skin condition, is rampantly becoming endemic. You! takes a look at this disease...

  By Dr. Khurram Mushir

Inflammation of the skin can be very distressing. These diseases cause great discomfort, disfigurement, chronic disability and emotional stress. The range of such skin diseases includes disorders like psoriasis, atopic dermatitis, lichen planus and other chronic inflammatory skin disorders.

Inflammatory skin disease is a broad category that includes many conditions, ranging in severity from mild itching to serious medical health complications. Although lichen planus is an uncommon inflammatory skin condition but is rampantly becoming endemic. You! takes a look...

What is Lichen Planus?

This is a purely cutaneous disorder composed of flat-topped, small rounded bumps rising from the skin that are each usually less than one centimetre in diameter. They are commonly seen on the inner surfaces of the wrists and the lower legs. The mucous membranes are usually affected and spontaneous resolution takes place in a period of three months to two years. The aetiology of lichen planus is unknown. As in psoriasis, lesions appear at the sites of trauma.

Clinical Features:

Classically the onset is acute with intensely itchy, red or violet, shiny flat-topped papules. The flexor surfaces of wrists, forearms and legs are sites of predilection. The oral mucous membrane is often affected, with white spongy, slightly raised lesions sometimes with a trabecular appearance on the inner surface of the cheeks, which may be any of the fine spicules forming a network in cancellous bone. These lesions are commonly asymptomatic and unless specifically looked for they may well be missed. They are, however, an important point in establishing the diagnosis. Similar lesions may be seen on the genitalia.

The cutaneous lesions may persist for many months. With time they tend to become more violaceous even blue in colour and characteristically develop a fine white network on their surface - a pattern called Wickham's striae. Purities generally tend to diminish with time although some have itchy persistent lesions that last for many years. Rare variants of lichen planus include those with an annular or linear pattern and the atrophic, ulcerative or hypertrophy forms. All of these tend to be more persistent and resistant to therapy than the classical type.

Involvement of the nails is seen in about 10 per cent of patients usually those who have more chronic skin lesions. Fine ridging, severe dystrophy (a condition of abnormal development, usually occurs due to malnutrition) and even complete destruction of the nail bed may occur.

Differential diagnosis:

Lichen planus is easily diagnosed on clinical grounds and histological examination is not always required. It is essential to take good history to exclude the possibility of a lichenoid eruption due to drugs like gold, thiazides (a class of drug that promotes water loss from the body) and antimalarials, which are medicines to prevent malaria. Occasionally, it could be due to external contact with photographic colour developers, when the clinical picture resembles psoriasis, histological differentiation will be required. Persistent ulcerative or hypertropic lesions should be biopsied to confirm the diagnosis.

How to treat Lichen Planus?

The most important aspect of treatment for the patient is to control, what is usually a severe and persistent itch. Systemic antihistamines, topical preparations such as 1-2 per cent menthol in calamine lotion, topical steroid preparations and weak tar formulations are all traditional remedies. Stubborn lesions with very severe and persistent itch may be responsive to intralesional injections of a corticosteroid which may be a preparation of a class of steroids, as aldosterone or cortisone, occurring in nature. Some dermatologists advocate a short course of systemic steroids for early severe cases, but there is no place for systemic steroid administration on a long term basis or for chronic lesions.

Synthetic retinoids given systemically have been reported to be beneficial in some cases. More recently, the use of systemic cyclosporine-A, an immunosuppressant drug that reduces the activity of the patient's immune system and the risk of organ rejection, has also been researched and is reported to be quite effective.

Contact Dr. Khurram Mushir:

The Skin Vision

Zamzama, Karachi

Phone #: 021-5868999

What's happening this year..
Find out what's in store for Capricorn gals this year...

Capricorn gals - you will find new ways of expressing yourself this year. Your practical approach to life makes it important to stay focused on getting things done in a timely manner. You are taking life very realistically. You don't like to spend time discussing topics that are not of interest to you, and it is important that you don't engage in activities that don't pique your interest.

In your personal life, you will express yourself more passionately and notice that you are developing more sensitivity in how you come across to others. Your life will take on new meaning when you realise a side of yourself that you never thought people were interested in. What a surprise to find out that others enjoy listening to you speak from your heart, expressing your personal, spiritual and emotional integrity.

You will also be encouraged to explore your belief systems. Thought-provoking opportunities arise when you discover so much of your own reformation is taking place. Influential friends will support you in all that you desire.

This year you will enjoy a new awareness of the deeper aspects of yourself and have a stronger appreciation just how much you contribute to the world. You may find relaxation through gardening or other grounding hobbies. As you explore creative ways of expressing your inner needs, you will discover a mystical way of communicating.

Career:

You will feel very emotionally balanced and harmonious in your career efforts. You are very fluid in the way you express yourself, both written and orally, that would do well to find work in communications. There is also a great opportunity for you to become involved in new realms of scientific discoveries that are ahead of their time, if you are interested in them. This mental stimulation will open up doors to creatively express your visionary mind. You have an ability to grasp new concepts quickly and people will instantly recognise this about you. You are likely to actively explore new subjects and disciplines, becoming adept in all of them. The desire to learn many subjects will make you very marketable.

Truly ambitious you will find that you have something important to share with others.

You have the ability to think freely, unhampered by conventional attitudes or public opinion. People around you want unique communication skills that you just so happen to be uniquely well-versed in. You are conscientious and concerned with how best to serve yourself and other people, so it is important for you to feel emotional sympathy in order for work to be satisfying this year.

You have your own code of conduct to which you are true, no matter what public opinion may be. You are most comfortable when in action, and you will be expressing your individuality. Lots of satisfaction is in store for you and your dreams will be easily accomplished. Sky is the limit gals!

Love:

You are fond of imaginative flights of fancy and determined in your pursuit of sensual pleasures. Your partner will bring very comforting moments to you. Your desire for luxuries will most likely be enhanced by a new love relationship that adds an artistic flair to your life. This special person will trigger your energetic, passionate, enthusiastic and ambitious side. You have great charm and poise, and the opposite sex finds you very attractive. Your communication skills will help you in rounding this person up - and you refuse to let this one get away!

Your loved one will help you cultivate a realistic view in every aspect. You love variety, and this relationship will give you opportunities for discovery. You are a good judge of character and appreciate the beauty of things in the world -- but not apart from their utility and ultimate purpose. Your nurturing abilities rise to the surface and allow you to explore the different variations of your inner needs.

You will enjoy developing the exchange of interpersonal expression and you will find new meaning in your life. Your inner charm and attractiveness comes out in new ways this year and your love will be incredibly satisfying.

Watch out for January...

You will feel that the level of hurdles in routine work is high. Progress will come due to your enterprising nature. Gains and income will remain steady. Diplomacy in speech will give you gains.

You will find happiness in love this January, which will be very positive and exciting.

If unattached, a new relationship or a revival of an old relationship is possible and could find chances of marriage this month. If married, your marriage might be unsteady. It could be a difficult month as there are sudden negative trends.

- Compiled by Abdul Malik

Chatter Matter
Dropped out!

There's news that our Lollywood lad Muammar Rana has been dropped from the cast of a Punjabi film Gulabo and replaced by model and artist Shamyl Khan. Aww...now that's sad! Shamyl will be playing the romantic lead opposite Saima in the film. Won't Saima be suitable to play the part of a big sis or maybe a young mum. What say guys? Our mole tells us that no immediate reason was given as to why director Sangeeta has dropped Momy out from the cast of the film. Shaan will also be playing an important character in the film. Besides these three actors the cast includes Resham, Meera, Babar Ali and others. We are waiting for this venture of yours Sangeeta jee...

Reema's second "shoot" at loot

And from the Reema front we heard that she recently visited Britain with multi-purpose objectives of recreation and how can she forget business. Our dusky dame was busy in the selection of locations for her new film as a director after Koi Tujh Sa Kahan, which has proved a bumper success at the box-office. From what we've heard that 70 per cent of her film would be picturised on locations in Britain and would feature wadey wadey artists from Bollywood and Lollywood. She said that she has learnt many lessons during the making of her maiden offering Koi Tujh Sa Kahan. Hmm... and she would try her level best to avoid committing the same mistakes in the production of her second film, or else the critics would not be accountable to their sarcastic remarks.

Ghar ki murghi dal barabar...

Speaking of coming back into action in 2006, singer Humaira Channa is back after a long absence. Seems the PTV award that was given to the crooner has woken up the filmy bigwigs to her neglected talent. The singer is in Lahore these days, where she is once again receiving offers for playback singing. In fact, she has already recorded a few numbers and more are in the offing. Well it's about time we got some decent singers back in filmdom and got a break from the lewd numbers that are being sung by certain uncouth singers.

Aaliya in Director's Seat

Artist, Aaliya Imam has formally launched herself as a director. Her directorial ventures include telefilms, 7 April Ki Raat and also Yeh Jo Muhabbat Hai. Reportedly, she was heard saying that she was always keen for direction from the very start and to accomplish the cherished desire, she had to pass through the difficult path of acting. If that was the reason for her acting, then no wonder...ahem ahem. Aaliya also claimed that she would not be working in her own projects as an artist so that she can concentrate fully on direction. She said that shortly she would be going abroad for direction of a drama serial in the private sector and that the details of the drama serial would be made public at the appropriate time. Well all we can do is hope that Aaliya's directorial debut supersedes her acting "skills"!

Food for Thought
Coordination by Maria Shirazi
Photography by Zahid Rehman

  Cold Fish in a mould

When planning out a meaty menu, a much healthier option can be the range of white meat. If you are a seafood lover then there are many options you can choose from. This time around You!  engaged Mrs. Lubna Zohair and she has prepared a scrumptious, yummy fish-treat. Try out this easy-to-make recipe 'Cold fish in a mould', as the name implies this mouthwatering delight has to be served cold. So, all you seafood fans out there let You! know if it was worth the effort. Bon appetite!

Ingredients:

- Deboned fish                1 kilo

- Mashed potatoes                4

- Tomatoes                4

- Lemons                2

- Mayonnaise                1/2 cup

- Cream   1/2 cup

- Salt       1 teaspoon

- Black pepper                1 teaspoon

- Carrot   1 small

- Capsicum                1 small

Method:

- Take a fish mould and slightly grease it.

- Set the mashed potatoes first evenly. Then combine the fish, mayonnise, cream, lemon, salt and black pepper.

- Set in on top of the potatoes and refrigerate for about 2 hours so that it sets well.

- Meanwhile, for the preparation of the sauce, chop the tomatoes and cook it with salt and black pepper.

- After 2 hours take out the chilled fish mould on a tray and spread the tomato sauce all over the sides of the fish.

- Decorate it with carrots and capsicum.

Contact Mrs. Lubna: 0333-3250501

Sunshine in your life
Any plans of redoing your entire house? For that modern and peppy look, which is quite in vogue these days, try creating a certain 'feel' for every room in your house...

  By Tazeen Hussain
Photography by
Zahid Rehman

Personal style and freedom of expression are the driving forces in today's home decor. The goal of home decoration is to create and provide a certain 'feel' for the room.

Itrat and Samina Rizvi have redone their entire house to give it a modern and peppy look, which is quite in vogue these days. As soon as you enter the house, the lovely entrance leads to a small seating area and a beautiful staircase, with lovely stained glass windows that overlook the entrance.

Light that enters through these filters, lights up the aqua of the stained glass infusing the whole house with a buoyancy and freshness. The top of the staircase has a skylight that allows plenty of sunlight to filter down, making the whole environment lively and energetic. "If you want a cosy and comforted ambience the best way is to create spaces through the use of proper lighting," says Mrs. Rizvi.

 To the left of the entrance is the formal drawing room. Done up in soothing off whites and livened up with hints of rusts and maroon. With no heavy furniture the room seems uncluttered and very hip. "We did not like very bulky furniture so my daughter Fatima chose a design out of a catalogue and we got it made." The sofas are sleek, comfortable and done up in ribbed off white upholstery. These are nicely contrasted with a carved, maroon, three-seater. The window looks out onto the lawn and this is set with two, carved low round chairs and a matching coffee table. The dining room is a step down. The table is glass topped which matches the dark colour of the three-seater and chairs. The selection and placement of furniture in a room is crucial in defining the space. Therefore, furniture in this area has been kept to a minimum to give easy access to guest.

The drawing room leads to the kitchen and the family lounge. The kitchen is spacious and in hues of neutral brown. The walls have been finished with rough tiles which makes it an interesting mix of modern and rustic. Glass fronted cabinets, house the glass collection and the concealed lighting provide plenty of light without inviting grease and dust.

Like the rest of the house their kitchen is also designed to allow plenty of sunlight. "I cannot stand dark rooms and light is a very important factor for me, so, we made sure that all the areas of our house get sufficient sunlight. All the bedrooms also open into the lawn so there is plenty of natural light."

The family lounge has been done in maroons. "The whole house was turning out to be off white and I wanted some vibrancy," says Fatima. A nice sofa set and easy chairs are the main furniture in this room. A lovely jhoola takes up one corner of the room. The TV lounge has been shifted upstairs. It is done up in a fresh shade of green and is a welcoming sight.

To the right of the lounge is Fatima's' room. Orange and off white walls make it very happening. "I got this repainted three times to get the right orange shade," she says smilingly. The bedroom has a wrought iron and wood bed that gives the room a sleek look. The window is draped with roman blinds and the texture of the upholstery again is rough keeping in mind that the rustic touch is blended in with the modern. The master bedroom is done up in shades of pistachio green. Samina's love for light definitely shows, as the bedroom has huge windows looking down at the lawn. The green looks lovely with sunlight filtering in through the enormous window, which makes the room lively. A sunken seating space leads onto the bedroom. With a little imagination you can make a particular space work for you, creating a beautiful area in your room and making your house comfortable, cosy yet trendy and chic.

Letters

Dear Nadine,

My best friend is having a problem that's disturbing me. She has been suffering for years, but has told me about it only recently. Her cousin has been abusing her sexually for about two years. He tries to fondle her while she is asleep, but runs away as soon as she wakes up. The last time he did this to her, was in a train and the most fearful part is that he did it when everybody else in his family was there too. My friend's aunt and uncle were sleeping in the same compartment, but he still had the guts to do it. My friend doesn't have the courage to tell it to anybody. That guy's family and my friend's family are pretty close and she believes that there can be a big conflict between the two families because of this. She is also afraid that she would be blamed. My friend also seems to act really very normal with him, which I know is very wrong. The other twist in the tale is, that this guy's brother is seriously interested in her. My friend also likes him, but doesn't love him. This guy is my friend, but I don't know whether I should tell him or not.

Troubled Soul

Dear Troubled Soul,

Most victims don't have the courage to share what they are going through with anyone. So, the good thing is that your friend has finally become brave enough to trust you with this problem. Please tell your friend that if this guy tries to harass her again, she should scream as loudly as she can. Even if he runs away, he would think twice before making another attempt. Your friend should have done it on the train because his parents were also there. What baffles me  the most is why this cousin, however close, allowed to run tame in your friend's house and into her bedroom. The first thing that she should do is to lock her room while she is asleep. The very fact that he runs away as soon as your cousin wakes up shows that he is a coward; as usually all bullies are. A stern admonishment from your friend would probably check him, but if she allows him to continue he would think that she wants it that way and will become more abusive. You can help your friend by encouraging her to talk to her mother or any older sibling. Her mother would know how to tackle the problem quietly. It is better for you not to get directly involved. If, however, she refuses to confide in her mother then you should discuss this problem with your friend's mother. No need to involve that guy's brother, or encourage her to fall in love with him. Your friend is lucky to have someone like you, who really is a friend in need. Good luck to both of you  

Dear Nadine,

My husband is two-timing me! I am sure of that because he has been neglecting me for quite some time. I love him a lot and look after him to the best of my ability, but he doesn't love me. He married me only because he was forced to. He is my first cousin and had to marry me because our fathers have a joint business. As I am the only daughter, it was decided that by marrying us both, the money would remain in the family. We have been married for five years and have two daughters. He adores his daughters and gives me whatever I want except his love. I make it a point to search his wallet and read his mails, but I have not discovered conclusive evidence of his duplicity. He often talks on his cell phone in hushed voice and I am sure it's a girl he is talking to. I have confronted him many times but he says he is not involved with anyone. If he is not involved with someone, why is he cold with me? I am fed up of this situation and I think if things don't change I will ask for divorce. What advice can you give me, Nadine?

Desperate for Love

Dear Desperate for Love,

I think that instead of accusing your husband for unfaithfulness, you ought to do a little soul searching. You don't have a shred of solid evidence to back up your allegation, yet you insist that he is two-timing you. Perhaps it's your suspicious nature that has made your life so miserable. My dear, it seems to me that you have never trusted your husband. You act like a person who feels thwarted because he has not been able to prove what he wants to believe. Instead of acting like a detective in a divorce case, change your attitude. Show your husband that you love and trust him. You have stated that he looks after you and your daughters, which shows that he is not a heartless fellow at all. This means that he wants your marriage to work. Even if he was forced to marry you, he will start loving you if you give him a chance. Behave like a loving wife, look after his needs, talk to him about his daughters and you will soon find that the self-created distance will melt away. Don't even think about getting a divorce for you don't have sufficient grounds. Just because you have heard him talking on his cell in a low voice doesn't mean that he is involved with a girl. Don't drive him away from yourself and your daughters. Best of luck

Dear Nadine,

I am a 16-year-old girl and my problem is that my monthly cycle is not regular. I get my periods very late and I feel a lot of pain when I have them. All my friends have a cycle of 21 days and I am afraid that something is very wrong with me. Do you think I have a cyst? In that case who should I consult? I am from a very conservative family, and cannot talk to my mother about it. But I often have sleepless nights worrying if there is a serious problem with me. Please help me.

Scared Aries

Dear Scared Aries,

It is very unfortunate that a majority of our women don't have a heart to heart talk with their daughters about this important aspect of health. Through this answer, I would like to request all mothers to be more open-minded, as talking about periods is not a taboo. It is a normal and natural process that all females undergo. In this age and time it sounds very weird when girls complain they cannot talk about it to their own mothers! Don't panic, as there is probably nothing wrong with you. Your cycle is irregular and for that you need to see a doctor. A 35-day cycle is normal provided there are no fluctuations. Some girls have a 21-day cycle and some have a longer time span between their periods. Anything that is regular between 21 and 35 days is normal. I have discussed this case with a gynaecologist who has assured me that you don't need to worry if there is no fluctuation in the time span between two cycles. So the thing for you to do is to monitor your cycle for three months. If you have your monthly periods regularly in 35 days' time you have nothing to worry about. However, in case it fluctuates between 21 days to 35 the best thing is to consult a gynaecologist. Tell your mother, in case you need to consult a doctor, you will have to speak to her about it. Do it in a natural way by asking if there is something wrong with your cycle. I am sure she will not disappoint you. Good luck